You don’t have to thrive everyday: 5 strategies to rest, reset and get your spark back
For the last couple of weeks I’ve been off kilter. I hurt my neck so was in debilitating pain, then the last few days I’ve been out of action with, what we think was a stomach bug. It’s a strain because as well as dealing with the chronic kidney stuff, I also go into fear mode that my kidney is near end. As quick as I can, I get into the flow and lean into it.
When floored with illness I have no choice but to look after myself, by listening to my body and what it needs, instead of pushing through.
It meant also that my plans for the last two weeks were pushed sideways. I’m getting used to it for now.
Being ill for decades has taught me a lot about being resilient to the ups and downs of life. Not that the downs can be hard, physically, emotionally and mentally. Having a few self care plan in place is invaluable to me.
I chat a lot with you about thriving. You’d be forgiven for thinking that if you’re not thriving everyday then you’re failing in post menopause.
That’s not the case. We are not looking for perfection. It’s a goal we aim for and hope to get most days. I plan for days that are energetic and positive. If any day or days go pear-shaped on me I adopt the mindset that being vivacious and vital also means resting, recovery and oh so important, giving myself permission to do less, without any arguments or hissy fits with myself. It does mean I heal quicker than I would if in stress mode. So I get back to thriving quicker.
Nowadays, there’s no way I can push through. Whether I like it or not, if rest is needed I need to pause and reset.
These days I’m flexing my resilience muscle more often. We’ll chat more on this in another episode. In short, it’s about building up resilience to life’s ups and downs and returning to your normal calm thriving state as quickly as possible.
These last two weeks I gave myself permission to eat healthy takeaways, lots of rest and sleep on the sofa, permission not to push through exercise, eat far more sugar than I normally do when I was recovering from the stomach bug. Not ideal for healing but it was all I could eat. I accepted it for what it was. So a ton of slowing down and mostly nurturing myself.
Here are the 5 ways I recovered, nearly fully, and start being vivacious again
Stop treating rest as a failure
We need to good sleep and adequate rest in stressful times. They are fundamental basics for recovery
Know the difference between recovery and avoidance
Rest when you need it, have a recovery plan for getting back to your normal rhythm and reconnecting with normal life
Create a “minimal viable day”
As your health improves have a goal of 1-4 to dos, it lessens being miserable. Some meditation, short walk, nourish, meditation, journalling when ready, connect with a friend or loved one. A few goals that make you feel connected and achieving. Be happy whether it’s one or four goals, you’re healing.
Don’t go from Zero to 100% full steam ahead
A big trap once you feel well, I find, is that there is some improvement and I think, right get back into the thick of life. If I go back too soon I need more time off. Easy does it.
Measure your progress differently
Each day slowly move closer to your regular life. Measure, not are you back to your normal yet. Instead, look back and ask yourself, am I doing more today then I did a few days ago. Any small progress is progress. So, whether you’re going through ageing, grief, menopause, injury, burnout, loss of confidence or other major life change this is a great way, when you’re ready, to get back to the life you usually live.
Life is not about building perfection but about creating a life we are still excited about as we get older.
Remember to give yourself some credit. The first thing I used to do when I had to stop due to illness was get so angry that I wasn’t able to follow through on my plans. I’ve learnt to stop focusing on what I can’t do. I now concentrate on looking after myself. Less stressful I can tell you.
Conclusion
I’ll finish off by reminding you that being vivacious isn’t about being “on” every minute of every day. Being vital doesn’t mean you won’t get knocked down. They are about listening to your body and giving it what it needs to heal. Then reconnecting at your pace to your normal rhythm of life.
So, if you’re having a pear-shaped week, don’t make it mean that you’re failing. Rest, recover, reset, and reconnect when ready.
Own your energy, live on purpose and relish your life. And remember, sometimes that means knowing when to slow down for a short while.